금요일, 7월 10, 2009
Pissed post
First of all, i am not writing this to bash; neither do i have the intent to slander any religion. I have always respected freedom of religion and i do not wish to do otherwise. However, i just wanted to get this off my chest once and for all, because well, i can't help say but it's seriously getting on my nerves.
I have simply no idea why the principal keeps including me in the so-called 'praying time' whenever the pastor comes.
Once or twice is fine. But every single time?
And she even openly discussed it with another teacher (who's of the same religion alright) that she is 'praying' that i would be converted someday too. -_____-'''
I doubt so.
I might have believed in it once. But that faith is already gone and i am sorry to disappoint, but it won't be resurrected
anytime, anymore. I may not understand the need for spiritual support, but since i do not condemn anyone from devoting their time to their religious needs, i do not see why that time includes the futile effort in trying to convince others to convert. If I may be allowed to say this, i cannot bring myself to depend on something i can't see.
To explain more accurately why the faith was lost,
I only have to look at
myself.
So I truly wish that the principal can just leave me alone. Isn't it obvious after the numerous forced sessions that i have no intention of being converted? I feel like a fool, pretending to join my hands in prayer and mouthing words with the least bit of sincerity. I didn't even include the part i was fighting to stay awake.
Let's just say i find it absolutely ridiculous why they think that only people like them go on to achieve victory, whereas people who are different simply do not. I'm not kidding, this was really mentioned today. Should we then assume that all the famous people in the world are like them?
As again, i wish to emphasize that i'm not bashing religion in any way. By the same token that everyone is entitled to choose their own beliefs, i believe that i'm entitled NOT to choose any as well. If i sound offensive, i apologise.
It's a pretty trying period for me. There are countless things that are nagging away constantly at certain parts of my brain and i am not sure if i should address them. I know, i am wavering. Occasionally, just occasionally, i would dream of having a path already laid out for me, that is just waving furiously at me, trying to get me to tread on it. And I wouldn't even have to lay a single finger. Of course, despite the stability, it might be a boring old life. But then again, the monotonous one i have now ain't that fantastic to speak of anyway. Either way, i would hate it i guess.
처음에 태어나게 하지 않으면 좋았을텐데..
그래서 안 믿어야.
미안. 이미 늦었으니까.
또 울어버렸다.. @ 8:57 PM